Stream of Subconsciousness: Client Perspectives

German client: “Imagetext is perfect-Thank you for helping me! Invoice?!” (Pay: 50 Euro per hour)

Vietnamese client: “Your prepararing for the whole 2 recruitment seminars were very bad.” (Pay: $20 per hour) # It’s Curtis King’s birthday. A ragtag group of musicians and musician wannabees is having a jam at Bernie’s. A man with glasses crawls on the stage and begins to kiss the crotch of the lead singer under his guitar. Forty-something expat ladies wander onto the stage and spin around like Stevie Nicks well past her prime. I do substance abused harmonies. Bernie smiles.

American client: “I am so happy we are working together. It’s GREAT (I don’t bold letters easy)… you are truly a consummate professional and a super talented writer.” (Pay: $40 per hour) French client: “I’m going to dock your pay 10 minutes every time you go out and have a cigarette because when you’re smoking you’re not writing and I don’t pay for smoking” (Pay: $6 per hour) We’re remodeling the old patio area to be an enclosed room with patio and BBQ outdoors. The construction boys have installed frosted glass to the now enclosed indoor area thus blocking the large expansive view we used to have to the patio. Uhh. Do it again Vietnam. Until we get it fucking right.

German client: “Hi David- Magnificent (work)!”. (Pay: 50 Euro per hour) Vietnamese client: “If you have known we paid a lot for the seminar & even we are the boss & hire you with the salary not cheap but we must do everything with staffs – We want to stop working with you.” (Pay: $20 per hour) # I’m convinced tomorrow will be a better day. Because I’m an optimist. I wonder how the black bespectacled drunk fan made out with the lead singer at the birthday party. I should kiss more crotch (female) on stage :) Because I’m terrible at kissing ass. Want value? Charge double, or kiss crotch.